Sometimes, It’s Ok To Change For A Guy

A few weeks ago, I met up with some friends after work and we played some pool. Apparently, the games were pretty one-sided before I got there. Now, I didn’t win a single game. But each one came down to wire because I happen to be a decent, though very out-of-practice, pool player.

A fairly random skill. I mean, like all other 90’s kids, we had that 7-in-1 changeable game top table with the pool and shuffle board and all that other stuff. But those miniature balls and sticks were not how I learned to play.

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I actually learned to play a few years ago to impress this guy I liked. I practiced 3 or 4 days a week for months and got pretty darn good. Obviously, that guy and I did not work out, but we’re still friends and even play pool from time to time.

And as some of you already know, I started learning French last week (though it seems like so much longer after all the times I’ve listened to those CDs). If you think I ever would’ve picked up a language learning guide from the library for kicks and giggles, you’re out of your mind. But I have a huge crush on a friend of mine, who is brilliant and speaks French fluently. He gave me a bunch of crap for not being able to speak it when we were hanging out one day, so I decided to learn. Yes, just to impress a guy.

Spoiler alert: that’s not gonna work out either (because I have terrible taste in men). But French and I have a total love connection going on. I’m obsessed. Dude, I can give vague directions and say that I want/would like to eat/drink something in a language I couldn’t even sort of understand 10 days ago. How freaking cool is that?

Everyone will tell you that you shouldn’t change for a guy (or a girl. Sorry, fellas). But that’s not true. We change for a lot of reasons. For our parents. For our friends. For our jobs. For society. And all of those things can be just as good as they can be bad.

So if will you make a trilingual rock star who can occasionally kick ass in pool, then go for it. Change is the essence of live. It’s how we learn and grow. And if your inspiration has to come from some hottie you want to impress, that’s totally ok.

The List

So I’ve entered Week 2 of the Quarter Century. And minus a blip or two (details on that to come during a future birthday night recap/reflection), I’d say we’re off to a pretty good start.  But this is a benchmark year, so it’s time to put myself to the test.  I need a purpose beyond the rat race of constant work and school. Thus, I present to you: The 25 in 25

  1. Go skydiving – this has been on my “To Do” list for years, and I haven’t gotten my life together to do it. I need this rush. I need to know I can jump out of a plane, rush toward the Earth, feel my heart jump out of my chest and survive it all.  I need to see that the world is bigger than me.  I know there’s no better way to see how big than from a plane.
  2. Do an obstacle course – for the last few years, I considered doing Tough Mudder.  But then I thought about it. So many reasons that’s never going to happen. First, I hate to run, so running 12-15 miles ain’t gonna happen.  Second, why would I want to run 12-15 miles AND get shocked by electricity.  Nope, I’m good.  But I AM signed up for this event called Mudderella in September.  Should be a good time. Feel free to join me (guys are welcome, too!).
  3. Go whitewater rafting – How much of a rush is this going to be? It’s just necessary.  Plus, I’m a Pisces, so I love water.
  4. Go skiing/snowboarding – Just one of those things I need to do before I die, so why not add it to the list.  Plus, I need to get my East Coast Johnny Tsunami on.   Here’s a clip for your viewing pleasure
  5. Update my blog at least once a week – I love to write. And I need to build my internet presence or whatever.  I’ll let you guys hold me accountable for this one.
  6. Complete 25 Random Acts Of Kindness – remember when you were a kid in school and these were a HUGE deal? Ok, maybe that was just at my school, but I used to be really good at them.  And there’s nothing like the joy that comes from helping other people.  The first one I’ve already done, so I’ll post about that later this week.  I’ll make sure to come up with a separate place for all of those so you can keep up with me.
  7. Stand on top of a mountain – this can’t go hand-in-hand with #4. I’m talking about trekking it up the side of some rugged thing and looking back down at the steepness I’ll have just conquered.  I really want the chance to see the world for the huge place it is.  And #6 might be a piece of that, but there’s nothing like the vastness of Mother Nature to remind you of how much more there really is around you.
  8. Kiss someone in the rain – I’m talking the now-classic passion of Noah and Allie.  Or that line in one of my favorite Taylor Swift song’s.  There’s nothing more romantic and passionate that kissing in the rain, no matter what the conversation was leading up to it.  Don’t believe me?  Just take a look.  
  9. Learn a new craft – I originally wrote this as find “find a new hobby,” but I want to do something that’s going to enhance my skill set.  Maybe I’ll learn to knit. Or play the guitar. Or something. I’m open to suggestions here.  Write’em in the comments.
  10. Write a novel – this will be happening in November.  Last year, some friends of mine participated in National Novel Writing Month and I thought it was pretty sick.  So I’m adding it to the list.
  11. Lose 10 pounds – constant struggle, but it needs to be here, so let’s do this.
  12. Read the Bible from cover-to-cover – I was thinking about a book I really wanted to read. This was the only one that came to mind. I’m tired of people always trying to tell me what it says, so I’ll just read the whole thing for myself. This is probably the toughest one of the list, but the challenge of it really excites me.
  13. Set foot on land I’ve never been to – I wanted to write “continent” but I figured I’d keep the price bracket a little lower. We’ll see where I end up.  We all know how much I love to travel.
  14. Go on a trip with a friend (or two) – as I’ve written, I like to travel alone. I think this will be a pretty cool learning experience, traveling with other people. I’m hoping I can convince my besties to come with, but we’ll see. 
  15. Work on my language skills – I’m not going to put this one in a box. I could increase my vocab in my native language or keep growing my skills in Spanish.  But I’ll be honest.  What I really want to do is learn French (there’s a reason, but look for that in a future post). So, we’ll see what happens with this. 
  16. Try Pole Dancing – because it seems awesome.  And it’ll serve me well in the long run.
  17. Finish this list – this might be one of the last things I actually do, and it’ll get pushed back a number every time I come up with something new.  And again, I’m open to suggestions. 

Alrighty, there it is.  My quarter life crisis solving list.  I’m trying to be better person, so here’s a bunch of ways to help me grow.  I’ll make sure to give you an update.  Wish me luck.  And keep me honest.

The 5 Heartaches Everyone Needs to Have (Only Once)

The 5 Heartaches Everyone Needs to Have (Only Once)

I thought this article had some great points. These are the things that we agonize over for days or weeks (sometimes months and years, depending on the experience). Leigh Newman gives her readers individual lessons to take away from each of these experience, which are pretty good takeaways.

The most important takeaway, though, that you can learn from each and every one of these heartaches?

Everything gets better with time. 

Almost A Year

As I approach the one year anniversary of my first solo trip, I can’t help but think about how much has changed.  I think about the person I was a year ago, and compare her to the person I am now.  The growth that I can see is sizable, and I know this is in part to my many travel experiences in New York, Bermuda, West Virginia, France, Spain and Italy.  I also know that my potential plan for next year is one that will morph my life in an even greater way.

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I like the person I have become.  Needless to say, I still her many flaws, some of which have carried over from the person I’ve grown out of, some that have come with the new levels of knowledge and experience that I have.  But I would be remiss if I said I didn’t miss the person I used to be.

Maybe that is the real struggle in life: figuring out how to merge the very best of all your different selves to become the ultimate person.  A sort of nirvana, if you will.

The choices we make are a direct result of the person we are, combined with the people we used to be.  And at no point are we ever perfect.  Parts of us are better, while others are worse.  The balancing act, juggling act, circus performance is realizing that despite our want to reach nirvana, it probably won’t happen, so maybe we have to settle for our best imperfect self.